Wow, the undead got screwed.

Hello, I would like to introduce you to my friend. His name is Carter Brightblade.

Carter here is a footman in the royal army of Lorderon.

Carter, say hello to the readers.

 

Carter: Hello readers.

 

Thank you Carter.

Now, you see, Carter joined the footman’s brigade a few years back hoping to get some money for school. He was hoping to get out after four years and open a leather working shop.

Well, 2 months shy of getting out, the scourge attacked.

Sadly, Carter was cut down while running to find his shield.

 

Carter: Wait… what?

 

Now, Carters widow grieved mightily for this loss. But moved on. She is now married to a nobleman on the outskirts of Stormwind City.

 

Carter: Wait wait…. I died? And what do you mean Mary found someone else?

 

Shush Carter, we’re telling a story here.

Well, 3 months later, Carter here woke up in a tomb on the outskirts of Brill. Only now, he was no longer Carter Brightblade, he was one of the forsaken. He has taken on the new name of Rhonin Plagueseeker.

 

Rhonin: Whoa… no. I didn’t die. I’m still here. And why did my name change? What’s going on here?

 

Well, you see, Rhonin is no longer fighting for the forces of good against the scourge, he has become indoctrinated into the Horde. A valiant fighter for survival in a new land.

 

Rhonin: Wait… I kill the horde. I’m not one of them.

 

Rhonin, can you please be quiet for a moment?

 

Rhonin: but… but…

 

Now, while fighting off a scourge attack on the outskirts of Shattrath City, the great bastion of hope to all forces in the outlands, Rhonin was cruelly cut down once more by the scourge.

 

Rhonin: WAIT… I died twice? This isn’t making sense.

 

Again, after a short period of time, Rhonin awoke again. Only this time, as a servant of the Lich King, Arthas Menethil, as a dreaded Death Knight.

Rhonin has sworn to destroy those that oppose his new master. He has even gone so far as to change his name once more. He has come to be known as Spineknot Chillmourne, the scourge of northrend.

 

Spineknot: Wait, I died twice, why am I still here?

 

Now, Spineknot here has shown us the cruel evil of that once great Prince Arthas.

 

He was born.

He died.

He arose.

He died.

He arose.

And now, he kills in the name of the Lich King.

 

Spineknot: No no no… something is wrong here man. Why am I fighting again. I should be dead. You know… paradise, virgins, clouds, harps… welcomed by the light. All that crap the Paladins teach?

 

You see, while any of us noble citizens of the realm would simply pass into a pleasurable afterlife filled with glory, honor, and the supposed virgin… Spineknot here will get no such joy. He is cursed to forever walk the earth as a servant of once of many masters as one of the undead.

 

Dude… You got screwed.

 

Spineknot: (unintelligible weeping into rotted plate covered hands)

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