I can do the impossible with nothing and deliver it yesterday. Honest!

Contact the University of Arizona. I want in on their flexible screen prototype testing.

I need you to learn to code so you can write me an extensive tablet interface for information keeping purposes.

I want you to come up with something that will decode human speech over the radio and put it in to text on a screen.

I need you to design a computer interface that will cut training intensive quall time down from 6 months to 6 weeks.

I need you to create a system of trouble tickets that will automatically track work and report to me daily with their progress.


This is just a small list of the things I have been asked to do recently.


I’m an IT1 in the Cost Guard. I don’t have the training to do most of this crap.

Seriously, half of this would require a team of 8 software engineers with a 3 million dollar budget and a 2 year timeline to even come close to what you are asking for. And I’m just one of two minimally trained grunts who resets e-mail passwords for a living. Do you have ANY idea what you are asking for here? Any idea at all?

Now, I consider myself to be fairly resourceful, and fairly intelligent. (Quiet in the peanut gallery. I don’t need your input here.) I can be handed a project and do my absolute best to make sure I can give you what you want. In fact, I have made some decent progress in each of the above venues. But seriously, this is a little out of my job description, paygrade, and expertise range.

I like being challenged as much as the next guy. In fact, I do my best to make sure I have some sort of a challenge each day, but really?!?!

Oh, and for what it’s worth, the Computerized interface for cutting quall times? I totally pulled that one off!

Hells yeah. It’s awesome. You should see it.