“Mann Co. acquires Blood Eagle assets in landmark sexual harassment case”.

HEADLINE: Mann Co. acquires Blood Eagle assets in a landmark sexual harassment case. Diamond Sword purchase excess BLU mercenary surplus as part of settlement negotiations.

VS.

Saxton Hale
Mann Co. CEO
Australian Extraordinaire

In a press conference held today with Saxton Hale, CEO of Mann Co., the landmark harassment case was discussed involving the acquisition of resources held by the Blood Eagle Clan.

Reports indicate that Blood Eagle tribesman references Saxton Hale as a “girly wuss”. Mann Co. replied by allowing Mr. Hale to airdrop in to an unknown battlefield while wrestling with poisonous cobras that caught fire during the freefall. After using the now charred snake skins as replacement hat bands, Saxton proceed to “Beat the crap” out of a tirbesman who referred to himself only as “a pathfinder” upon finding out that the tribesman’s only job was to “run away”.

Tribal warriors still seeking to remain actively employed have been offered temporary mercenary positions within Mann Co. pending a probationary period.

Negotiations were vicious, but a court appointed mediator assisted with the dealings before running away for “undisclosed reasons”.

More reports will follow upon Mr. Hale’s return from a gorilla punching expedition currently scheduled for Friday.

Okay, that was fun and all, but I don’t think it’ll ever get approved by the TF2 or Tribes communities as a whole. But hey, it’s fun to play with photoshop.

Regardless, this isn’t what I’m posting about today.

Instead, it’s about cross training.

Cross training you ask?

Yes… Cross training. And not the dumb kind that involves shoes, or exercise, or any legitimate effort. Screw that noise.

Instead, I speak of cross training of the video game type.

I have been heavily involved with two FPS games over the last couple of years. Team fortress 2 and Tribes.

We already know that I’m a filthy sand raker (Though Blood Eagle is quickly gaining steam in my book for some reason), but when it comes to TF2 I’m never quite sure if I’m more of a BLU or a RED fan. Both are awesome, BUT, unfortunately, (because I’m usually a blue team kinda guy), RED is taking the lead because BLU uses dumbass apple style products.

If there is one thing I stand by, it’s that fact that I CANNOT stand anything the supports the Apple mindset, culture, or mentality. iScrew iThat!

iDumbasses!

ahem… back to the topic at hand.

I’ve been playing these two games.

I’m usually a medic or an engineer type when I play Team fortress. Not a lot of aiming required and I can let the machines do most of the work for me. I like that. Not a lot of skill, and plenty of time to look good while I help others on my team. Yay for being a team player, right? Right!  TEAMWORK! (Queue up some Tenacious D right there).

Now, in tribes, I started as a soldier because I didn’t wanna be a heavy, and pathfinding wasn’t my thing. So, I spent my time and I learned to shoot at people. I then unlocked technician (I’ve been playing since early beta) and found that I really liked this class. Turrets are awesome but I’m still HEAVILY involved in actually shooting at people.

I worked on my aiming skills.

Spinfusors? Hell yeah!

Machine guns? Bring it.

Thumpers? *giggles*. Yes, I do love this weapon.

I’ve learned to shoot. I’ve learned to aim. And I’ve learned to lead my shots and actually hit stuff.

This is something that I had never really learned how to do in Team Fortress. I just could never quite figure it out. My shots were “too slow” in my opinion.

I’ve gotten good with the spinfusor again and my thumper is warm from use. I’ve gone fast, I’ve dropped turrets, I’d repaired generators, and I’ve shoved grenades down the throats of more brutes than I can care to count. It’s been glorious good fun. 

Anywho, I fired TF2 backup again today after being in tribes for a little bit during the last week or so. I sat down and picked soldier since there were too many engineers on my team. I saw the scout screaming across the screen in the distance (They really aren’t THAT fast ya know.”, and I let a rocket loose.

KER-BLAM!

That scout just took a rocket to the friggin FACE!

Suddenly, after spending WAY too much time with a spinfusor in my hands, I could aim and shoot rockets. This is new. This is exciting. This is reason to giggle as I proceeded to run around the server and shoot people in the friggin face. I’m not any good with a sniper rifle or even with the knife of a spy, but when it comes to rockets and pipe bombs of a demo man… I’m freaking dangerous!

I enjoy many games. These two are my current favorites. And while I didn’t expect to get any better at one because I played the other, I found that the unexpected side effect resulted in way more than I could have hoped for.

-R.H

*edit: Because Words

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My blood runs cold at the utterance of these words…

I have learned over the years that there are certain combinations of words that you just don’t want to hear from your children as a parent. I haven’t heard ALL of these yet, but I know I don’t want to hear them.

Examples:

-Would you like to see my piercing?

-Mom, Dad… I got her pregnant.

-I know I’m only 13 daddy, but Snake and I are in love!

-Where do we keep the fire extinguisher?

-I think someone pooped in the bathtub.

Most of these things are fairly stereotypical. You hear about them in movies. But of all the things you could hear (Either fake or real) the one that stops me in my tracks the fastest is this…

“Dad, What’s for dinner?”

CRAP! I have no flippin clue. It’s only four thir…… DOUBLE CRAP! It’s almost SIX.

Mom’s not home to yell at me to make something which means I’m on my own here. This isn’t that big of a deal since I do the cooking every night anyways. But now I have to come up with something quick, easy, and that they will ACTUALLY eat.

Might as well go paint a chapel ceiling cause’ that will be WAY easier than THIS task.

Okay, seriously, what to make for dinner.

After a quick look in the cupboard I realize I don’t have a lot of quick and easy stuff. Lots of meats and such, but not a lot that’s fast.

Suddenly, I spy the pasta.

I’m making spaghetti tonight.

 

Freaking SWEET! I love spaghetti, but my family hates it. Every last one of them. Seriously… how does one make it this far in their life and NOT eat spaghetti? It’s a freaking staple of civilized society for the love of Odin.

Well, I know I want spaghetti, so now I gotta figure out a way to make the kids eat it. I have garlic bread, and I know they will eat that, but that doesn’t solve my spaghetti problem.

While I’m digging through the freezer looking for something that I could make other than the awesome pasta that I have running through my head, I moved around a bag of Rhoades Bread Dough. (I love that stuff).

I didn’t think too much about it at the exact moment I saw it but by the time I made it upstairs, I knew what I was going to do.

Genius had struck!

Okay, before we go any further with the dinner train of thought, I need to give a short backstory.

I grew up eating something called “Cowboy Bread”. That stuff was AMAZING. Deep fried bread type substance that my mom made on occasion. Apparently, my uncles wouldn’t eat elephant ears when they were kids back in the 50’s so my grandmother called it “Cowboy Bread” because my uncles were always playing cowboys and indians. My mother picked up the term and it stuck. So this amazing bread that I ate as a kid was simply re-branded fried bread dough. Simple enough, but freaking amazing with a little bit of cinnamon and sugar.

I apologize, my back stories are usually WAY WAY better than this. I might not have the commitment to that one that I should.. but meh. Whatever.

Okay, so I’m walking up the stairs from the basement and inspiration hits. Instead of calling it spaghetti, I’m calling it… uhm… canned noodles? No, they’ll figure that out. Uhm… “Super Spaghetti”?…. HA, even I’m not dumb enough to fall for that. ooohh…. I got it… “Potted Lasagna”.  (Turns out it wasn’t even a real thing yet… I might have to patent this one.)

HELLS YEAH!

So, as I’m standing in the kitchen, before I open anything, I yell to the kids…

“HEY! Who wants potted lasagna?”

Hayden: Uhm… sure.

Lillie: Okay.

Dinner is ON!

So I make the noodles, and I throw the sauce in the pan afterwards  (which I never do) and I let the whole thing cool off a tad. I throw a little shredded cheese in the bottom of a bowl. I top it with the spaghetti and I top it with a touch more shredded cheese.

Now people, for all intents and purposes, THIS IS LASAGNA! I don’t care how you slice it… It’s freaking lasagna.

So, Lillie devoured hers in a heartbeat. Hell, she even asked for seconds. Now if I had told her that she was eating spaghetti, she would have freaked the hell out. But… this did not happen. Dinner for her was a success.

However there is the issue of Hayden. This kid is WAY smarter than I honestly give him credit for. I set that bowl down in front of him and he stopped. He looked at me and stared for a moment. Three words escaped his ever truthful lips… “This is spaghetti”.

Well crap.

I had to poke, prod, bargain, urge, yell, plead, cry, and cajole, but I finally got the boy to eat. I dunno if I’ll be trying that one again with him any time soon. But for Lillie, it was a stellar success.

Now I gotta figure out what I’m making for dinner tomorrow.

Crap.

That’s a nice everything you have there… Or, how to play it EVERYWHERE

That’s a nice everything you have there, it’d be a shame if something happened to it…

I have two children, aged 10 and 6. They both enjoy the ever living crap out of minecraft.

Personally, I’m not the biggest fan of the game. It makes me motion sick. Considering that I play games like Tribes and Descent, you would think that motion sickness wouldn’t be a thing for me, but unfortunately, every time I want to play this blasted game, it makes me want to puke. So, I don’t get a lot of in game time for this juggernaut of a monstrosity of gaming within my happy little household.

Now, you are probably wondering why this post is being written, so I’m going to tell you. However, before I do, I’m going to list a few of the things that I hear regularly in my household when it comes to this game.

ahem:

-Stop hitting me.

-Ooh, diamond… (HEY, That’s MY diamond) Oww… stop hitting me.

-CREEPER!!!1!11!!!

-StoooOOoooOOoopppp….. that’s mine.

-Stop hitting me.

-Get out of my house.

-Can I live with you?

-Stop hitting me and get out of my house.

-Ooh, diamo…. OWW, Stop hitting me, you can’t live in my house.

-Stop letting creepers in to my house.

-Stop hitting me!

Yeah, it gets old. I can tell you that. It gets old REALLY fast. Now, this I can live with. I listen to bickering on a somewhat regular basis. Hell, I’m a father, bickering kinda comes with the job. But there is one small aspect of all of this that I cannot stand. Now, I tend to ramble but I always get back to my point and I’ll be getting to that soon. BUT, in the mean time, here is another mildly short point before we get there.

In my home, I have four computers. The daughter has an All-in-one, the boy has a laptop, Mama has a nice i7 rig and I have a nice i5 rig. We’re quite happy with what we’re using. Now, the kids like to use the fastest computer available to them at any given moment. Since they tend to bounce between computers, they wind up creating their own custom worlds on each machine. Occasionally, they build something that in their head is overwhelmingly magnificent. when this happens, they tend to monopolize a single computer, regardless of who it belongs to.

Now, three times in the last 6 hours alone, I have walked out of the kitchen only to find that what I was working on has been closed/minimized and my son will be sitting there playing his game on my computer and happily plugging away at building some amazing castle/bulwark/mob generator thing.

I will usually sigh, go back in to the kitchen, and maybe pout a little depending on what I was doing before I was ousted by the little space hound.

Pouting like a pro

Well, as I stood there, slowly stirring my homemade parmesan cheddar and truffle alfredo sauce, I stumbled on an idea.

An amazing idea.

An astoundingly simple, yet painfully obvious idea that only an idiot, a genius, or someone doped up on WAY too much caffeine could possibly come up with.

neat

Okay, ready for it?

PORTABLE MINECRAFT!

On a thumb drive!

Yeah, you read that right, portable minecraft on a thumb drive.

So, I pulled out an old 256mb thumb drive from my amazing box of ancient crap that I’m too stubborn to throw away, and I went to work.

Oh, BTW, this is why your are here in the first place I assume. (Unless my google juice brought you here through other means, then FREAKING SWEET!)

So, before I go too far in to this, let me post the link from the site I used to figure out this fantastic little trick. KER-BLAM!

Before we start, check out this little nugget…

Requirements:
– Minecraft, played at least once to download game files.
– USB drive (256mb should suffice, depends on your current minecraft data)
– Java on any computer you wanna play it on*

Got it? SWEET! Moving on.

Oh, and the step numbering doesn’t matter, just follow them in the order listed… kay? kay!

Step ONE:

Format that sweet little thumb drive and rename it something awesome… like “Porta-Craft” or “Mine-be-gone” or “USB Powered Pickaxe”… actually, that last one is pretty friggin cool. I shoulda used that.

Step B

Create TWO folders on that awesome clean USB drive.

Name them “BIN” and DATA”.

Step CHAIR

Find a copy of the minecraft.exe file (The minecraft executable) (I linked it for you, you’re welcome) and stoff that little bugger in the “BIN” directory on your flash drive.

Step 7

Now, I’m assuming that you know how the whole %appdata% thing works. Everyone in the minecraft community has had to use this at one time or another. I’m not going to explain it again, HOWEVER, if you click this link, it will walk you through it in a way blander way than I would explain it.

Anyways, grab the “.minecraft” folder and stuff it gently in to the “DATA” folder on your super sweet flashy thumb drive device thing.

Step Thirteen

This step is where you might mess up, so pay careful attention.
You need to create a new .bat file, that tells the minecraft launcher to look in this USB for the files instead of in the computer’s hard drive.

Open up notepad, and copy this code into it:

set APPDATA=%CD%\data     
bin\minecraft.exe

Make sure to include the enter between “data” and “bin”.
Now save the file as “MC_Portable.bat” or something similar. You can name it whatever you want, just make sure to have the .bat at the end. This will be what you click to start it up.

Step GREEN

RUN THAT THING! Seriously, just doubleclick on your new BAT file and it will work using the data you copied off your computer.

Before you freak out and say “But BATCH FILES ARE VIRUSES… YOU CRAZY HAX0R!”…. chill the hell out. In fact, go read this post to complete the process of chillaxing and then come back and keep reading.

Okay, back? Wasn’t that a freaking sweet experience? Figured you would like it.

Anywho, back to running this. Let me explain what each of those fancy lines of code does.

FIRST, the “set APPDATA=%CD%\data” tells the minecraft.exe that all of the data associated with the game is stored in your “data” directory of the removeable media. Kinda required to make this trick work.

SECOND, the “bin\minecraft.exe” portion tells the batch file where to run the actual executable file for the game so that something happens when you click it. Again, kinda required to maker the whole magic trick work… other than the voodoo and the actual black magic required to even make the batch file exist in the first place.

Regardless, this should work for just about anyone. I just did it and it only took me about 4 minutes. Hell, I can do that twice in the time it takes for my stove to come up to heat to make a packet of hot cocoa.

Actually… that sounds pretty good. I’ma go make somma that.

Let me know if you have questions.

Maybe subscribe.

And if you’re feeling snarky, tell your friends.

Thanks and such.

Laters.

-RH.