Whitney Houston was NOT a saint!

Okay, I got it. Whitney Houston is dead.

That’s a bummer. I know she had a nice voice. I know she did a little acting. And I know that she had a troubled life.

Drugs.

Booze.

Abusive relationships.

Honestly though, a good deal of her problems were her own fault. I’m sorry, but just because someone was famous does NOT mean they get instant saint status just because they died. New Jersey is flying flags at half mast because she died.

I’m sorry, druggies don’t get my condolances.

I know it’s harsh bust seriously… She’s dead. Deal with it.

 

Thank you Ned.

 

-Garen

Kill it with fire? I’d rather not.

A few years back, my lovely spouse Andrea suffered fromhorrible heartburn. I don’t recall exactly what had caused it, but it plagued her relentlessly.

 

As it is with most people, we had decided that liquid antacids suck big time.  NOT a fan of the flavor or texture.

Now Tums brand antacids have been a staple of life in my household since before I was old enough to walk. There was always a bottle of them above my mothers headboard. I knew what they were, I knew what they were good for, and I knew where to go to get them.

 

Anyways, due to previous circumstances in my lovely wifes life, she was unable to chew through a tums tablet. I don’t blame her because those things suck when your mouth is sore.

Well, because I’m such a nice guy, I devised a plan to allow my lovely spouse to relieve her heartburn without having to succumb to the horrors that are liquid antacids.

I simply took a soapstone mortar and pestle, the kind you might have in your kitchen, and I filled it with tums. After a short amount of time cracking, pressing, and grinding, I completed the process. I had turned those tablets into a fine dust.

I emptied the amazing pink concoction in to a pill bottle, supplied a small plastic spoon, and handed Andrea her new bottle of meds.

Taking this antacid was a lot like eating a dry, foul flavored pixie stick that happened to have a little fruit zing to it. Not bad actually.  It was easy enough to take. Didn’t require any chewing. It was effective. And it raised eyebrows when you decided to take it in public.

It was a simple solution to an irritating problem. The only reason I brought this story up was because I have been taking antacids again lately. I couldn’t find the bottle all day yesterday and found it this morning. After I filled a small baggie with tablets, I noticed the powder that was created as they rubbed together and it reminded me of my wife.

So, there you go. That’s how and why Io made a fine, nearly white, odorless powder for my wife to consume throughout the day.