That’s a nice everything you have there… Or, how to play it EVERYWHERE

That’s a nice everything you have there, it’d be a shame if something happened to it…

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I have two children, aged 10 and 6. They both enjoy the ever living crap out of minecraft.

Personally, I’m not the biggest fan of the game. It makes me motion sick. Considering that I play games like Tribes and Descent, you would think that motion sickness wouldn’t be a thing for me, but unfortunately, every time I want to play this blasted game, it makes me want to puke. So, I don’t get a lot of in game time for this juggernaut of a monstrosity of gaming within my happy little household.

Now, you are probably wondering why this post is being written, so I’m going to tell you. However, before I do, I’m going to list a few of the things that I hear regularly in my household when it comes to this game.


-Stop hitting me.

-Ooh, diamond… (HEY, That’s MY diamond) Oww… stop hitting me.


-StoooOOoooOOoopppp….. that’s mine.

-Stop hitting me.

-Get out of my house.

-Can I live with you?

-Stop hitting me and get out of my house.

-Ooh, diamo…. OWW, Stop hitting me, you can’t live in my house.

-Stop letting creepers in to my house.

-Stop hitting me!

Yeah, it gets old. I can tell you that. It gets old REALLY fast. Now, this I can live with. I listen to bickering on a somewhat regular basis. Hell, I’m a father, bickering kinda comes with the job. But there is one small aspect of all of this that I cannot stand. Now, I tend to ramble but I always get back to my point and I’ll be getting to that soon. BUT, in the mean time, here is another mildly short point before we get there.

In my home, I have four computers. The daughter has an All-in-one, the boy has a laptop, Mama has a nice i7 rig and I have a nice i5 rig. We’re quite happy with what we’re using. Now, the kids like to use the fastest computer available to them at any given moment. Since they tend to bounce between computers, they wind up creating their own custom worlds on each machine. Occasionally, they build something that in their head is overwhelmingly magnificent. when this happens, they tend to monopolize a single computer, regardless of who it belongs to.

Now, three times in the last 6 hours alone, I have walked out of the kitchen only to find that what I was working on has been closed/minimized and my son will be sitting there playing his game on my computer and happily plugging away at building some amazing castle/bulwark/mob generator thing.

I will usually sigh, go back in to the kitchen, and maybe pout a little depending on what I was doing before I was ousted by the little space hound.

Pouting like a prominecraft comic, creeper, f7u12, flash, drive, portable, minecraft, sex, diamond, sword, tobuscus, pickaxe, red, stone, redstone, steve, rainbow, dash, mlp, mlpfim, my, little, pony, friendship, is, magic, rainbow dash, pouting, amazing, funny, mac, pc, OSX, ubuntu,

Pouting like a pro

Well, as I stood there, slowly stirring my homemade parmesan cheddar and truffle alfredo sauce, I stumbled on an idea.

An amazing idea.

An astoundingly simple, yet painfully obvious idea that only an idiot, a genius, or someone doped up on WAY too much caffeine could possibly come up with.

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Okay, ready for it?


On a thumb drive!

Yeah, you read that right, portable minecraft on a thumb drive.

So, I pulled out an old 256mb thumb drive from my amazing box of ancient crap that I’m too stubborn to throw away, and I went to work.

Oh, BTW, this is why your are here in the first place I assume. (Unless my google juice brought you here through other means, then FREAKING SWEET!)

So, before I go too far in to this, let me post the link from the site I used to figure out this fantastic little trick. KER-BLAM!

Before we start, check out this little nugget…

– Minecraft, played at least once to download game files.
– USB drive (256mb should suffice, depends on your current minecraft data)
– Java on any computer you wanna play it on*

Got it? SWEET! Moving on.

Oh, and the step numbering doesn’t matter, just follow them in the order listed… kay? kay!

Step ONE:

Format that sweet little thumb drive and rename it something awesome… like “Porta-Craft” or “Mine-be-gone” or “USB Powered Pickaxe”… actually, that last one is pretty friggin cool. I shoulda used that.

Step B

Create TWO folders on that awesome clean USB drive.

Name them “BIN” and DATA”.


Find a copy of the minecraft.exe file (The minecraft executable) (I linked it for you, you’re welcome) and stoff that little bugger in the “BIN” directory on your flash drive.

Step 7

Now, I’m assuming that you know how the whole %appdata% thing works. Everyone in the minecraft community has had to use this at one time or another. I’m not going to explain it again, HOWEVER, if you click this link, it will walk you through it in a way blander way than I would explain it.

Anyways, grab the “.minecraft” folder and stuff it gently in to the “DATA” folder on your super sweet flashy thumb drive device thing.

Step Thirteen

This step is where you might mess up, so pay careful attention.
You need to create a new .bat file, that tells the minecraft launcher to look in this USB for the files instead of in the computer’s hard drive.

Open up notepad, and copy this code into it:

set APPDATA=%CD%\data     

Make sure to include the enter between “data” and “bin”.
Now save the file as “MC_Portable.bat” or something similar. You can name it whatever you want, just make sure to have the .bat at the end. This will be what you click to start it up.


RUN THAT THING! Seriously, just doubleclick on your new BAT file and it will work using the data you copied off your computer.

Before you freak out and say “But BATCH FILES ARE VIRUSES… YOU CRAZY HAX0R!”…. chill the hell out. In fact, go read this post to complete the process of chillaxing and then come back and keep reading.

Okay, back? Wasn’t that a freaking sweet experience? Figured you would like it.

Anywho, back to running this. Let me explain what each of those fancy lines of code does.

FIRST, the “set APPDATA=%CD%\data” tells the minecraft.exe that all of the data associated with the game is stored in your “data” directory of the removeable media. Kinda required to make this trick work.

SECOND, the “bin\minecraft.exe” portion tells the batch file where to run the actual executable file for the game so that something happens when you click it. Again, kinda required to maker the whole magic trick work… other than the voodoo and the actual black magic required to even make the batch file exist in the first place.

Regardless, this should work for just about anyone. I just did it and it only took me about 4 minutes. Hell, I can do that twice in the time it takes for my stove to come up to heat to make a packet of hot cocoa.

Actually… that sounds pretty good. I’ma go make somma that.

Let me know if you have questions.

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And if you’re feeling snarky, tell your friends.

Thanks and such.